Once the toast of local government, Oswestry Town Council now seems to be on a daring mission to win “Most Detached Local Authority 2025.” Transparency is out. Accountability has emigrated (along with one councillor, permanently sunning themselves in Australia). And communication? That’s a quaint relic of the past—rather like the outdoor market.
A multi-million pound turnover, a captive audience of taxpayers, and a boardroom full of well-meaning amateurs with less business experience than a car boot stall—what could possibly go wrong?
With a mixture of Greens, LibDems and Tories, how did it come to this in five short years?
Let’s examine this slow-burning fiasco with the seriousness it deserves—none.
Fireworks and Fallout: Blown Sky-High, Then Swept Under the Carpet
In November 2024, the Council solemnly resolved to launch an independent review of its shambolic Firework Display—an event so chaotic that even the Health and Safety elves reportedly put down their clipboards and ran. The promise was that the review would be made public.
Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. By March 2025, the Council decided the report was far too dangerous for public eyes and shunted it into a private session, where it now presumably lives in the same cupboard as dissent and competence. An official complaint has been lodged with the ICO. Why? Because transparency isn’t just a warm fuzzy word—it’s a legal expectation, particularly when public safety is involved.
The Annual Budget Meeting: A Lonely Hearts Club
Out of 18 councillors, just seven bothered to attend the annual budget meeting. Apparently, reviewing how your town spends millions is a niche interest. Meanwhile, Councillor Crocodile Dundee remains in Australia, providing moral support via WhatsApp stickers, presumably.
The Mayor: A Cloak of Invisibility and a £5k Allowance
In days gone by, mayors cut ribbons, shook hands, and turned up at community events. Oswestry’s current Mayor, however, appears to have embraced a hermit mayoralty, rarely seen and barely heard. Can we have a list of public appearances to justify the £5,000 mayoral allowance? Or would that also need to go into closed session?
Buying Property Like It’s Monopoly, With None of the Rent
Centre North West and Llwyd Mansion: two acquisitions that reek of ambition but whiff strongly of financial naivety. The latter reportedly requires £3 million in renovation. That’s £3 million the Council doesn’t have—unless it plans to shake down ratepayers or pass around a very large hat….Again There is no revenue model, no published funding strategy, and no fallback plan if grant funding fails. Has anyone on this Council ever run a lemonade stand, let alone a multi-million pound capital project?
The Market is Dead. Long Live the Market?
Unlike the rejuvenated markets of Shrewsbury and Ludlow, Oswestry’s outdoor market remains frozen in time. Dead stalls, no innovation, no leadership. Years ago, there was talk of moving it to Festival Square. Nothing happened. Because doing nothing is apparently a full-time job.
As if that weren’t enough, the Council managed to buy solar panels allegedly manufactured using slave labour in China, then inexplicably went all the way to Liskeard, Cornwall, to find someone to install them—skipping every competent contractor between here and the Tamar. Efficiency in action.
Double Taxation? Twice the Pain, Half the Services
Oswestry dutifully accepts service transfers from Shropshire Council. This allows both councils to tax residents for the same services—one of the few instances where duplication is not only tolerated but actively encouraged.
Don’t forget the Town’s CCTV, another mystery service, funded twice: once as a precept to the West Mercia Police Commissioner and again to Oswestry Town Council’s CCTV Coordinator, whose employment status might best be described as quantum—neither fully employed nor fully accountable.
And when a recording is requested?
The camera is always pointing the wrong way. Funny that.
An Events Calendar from the Land That Time Forgot
Each year, the Town Council proudly unveils an events calendar featuring… the exact same events. Creativity, it seems, was outsourced and never recalled. Oswestry now lives off the borrowed brilliance of long-gone predecessors.
The Public Relations Department: Broadcasting Silence
One might think a Social Media Officer would promote Council activities. Ours seems to prefer reposting content from other organisations, leaving residents to guess what their own Council is doing. As for the Town Clerk—while their counterpart in Shrewsbury pops up on local radio, ours seems permanently tuned to “silent mode.”
Why is there never a summary of Council decisions after meetings? If you’re going to trumpet “engagement,” perhaps actually communicating something would be a good place to start.
The Green Agenda: All Hype, No Harvest
Large investments have been made under the “green” banner. So where are the returns? Where are the savings? Where are the updates?
Instead, the Council offered a generous “gift” of tens of thousands of pounds to the Shropshire Cycle Hub, which has since quietly pedalled into obscurity—taking taxpayers’ money with it. Another “green” initiative that’s gone as silent as the Mayor.
Future Oswestry: Past Glories, Present Meetings, Future… Nothing?
Countless hours have been sunk into the “Future Oswestry” project. What’s been delivered? Any actual outcomes? Or was it just a time-share presentation in committee form?
Meanwhile, Councillor Crocodile Dundee remains in Australia.
The Alternative Council 